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Real music, real bad, in real time
Blistarr: Birthday Song
August 20, 2012 08:33 AM PDT
The boys at Blistarr made a birthday song for half of Stömock some years back. Here 'tis, minus the cussy bits at the end where their true feelings came through.No Shit Sherlock
June 09, 2012 04:07 PM PDT
Here's a charming ditty from Nö Shit, in which the Right Stomock (because he is always right) tells the tale of No Shit Sherlock, a gangsta version of Sherlock Holmes. The song, like NSS himself, is NSFWUACS (not safe for work under any conceivable circumstances).
I would post more info about the album, but for some reason all Stömock history escapes me at this moment. Was this our last album? Was it followed by the ironically-named Stömock Renaissance? What happened to The Unlistenables? They could have been great.
At this moment I can remember only a blur of digestive fluids and greasy meats.
NSS himself, of course, is played by Benedict Cumberbatch in all official Stömock fanfic.Which Brings Us Back to Ferdukia
August 20, 2011 06:45 AM PDT
After Gut Work, we decided to remake Ferdukia, our rock opera epic. We worked on it for a long time and used a couple of different software tools... but we were never together, geographically, during the entire project.
For awhile we used a collaborative recording tool, the name of which I can't remember. It consisted of a web site and a downloadable tool that was an approximation of a 4-track recorder with rudimentary effects. We then moved on to using Cubase. For the most part we would each do our part, then mail back & forth two things: a mix down of the full song and a wav file containing a mix of just the pieces we had added to the song.
This is not that far off from Stomock's origins with the "Tig Machine." That thing required us to record a track on one cassette, then move that cassette from the recording slot into the playing slot, then play it while we recorded the next layer onto another cassette.
The resulting recording remains my favorite Stomock album.
This song, "Life's Such a Joy" was on both versions of Ferdukia. Many of the songs take the perspective of one or the other of the twins (born joined at the Stomock and separated at birth). In this one, the twin the King kept tells how he shucked off his royal life and hit the road with joy and evil devastation.I Hate Our Freedom
May 26, 2011 02:31 PM PDT
I wrote this back in July 2005, as should be evident from the lyrics. I won't dissect them.Liquor and Whores
March 28, 2011 06:39 AM PDT
A quick cover of a song from the glorious Canadian TV show Trailer Park Boys.Farbalated (The Circular Digestive System)
March 18, 2011 01:41 PM PDT
By the end of the 90's, the Internet had come along to the point where geographically disparate stomachans could collaborate by trading files. We began to use a now-defunct startup whose name I can't remember. They were an early social media network built around creating music collaboratively. They offered a small, simple multi-track tool that allowed users to download a track, layer another track over it, then upload the results. And so forth. We used that tool for Gut Work, our first new album in seven years, and continued using it through part of the Ferdukia remake.
CDs hold a lot of music... and we had seven years of pent-up stool. So the album's 28 tracks long and includes new songs and a few remakes of songs that had receded into the tape hiss of history. This is one of those.
It's a archetypical Stomock song in that it a) addresses a real person (hi, Anita, wherever you are) b) is built on an extended poop metaphor and c) consists of only a few instruments & no drums. Just add a few handclaps and we'd have it all.Yet Another Typical Song
March 13, 2011 06:29 PM PDT
You know what the world really needs? Another version of Another Typical Song.Another Another Typical Song
March 13, 2011 06:13 PM PDT
ATS appeared on Distended, our first EP. It falls in the category of "mean Stomock songs" since it's describing a friend. There are several of these, but that's all I'll say about that.
The original recording may be lost to the ages. I have it on my CD of Noxious Effluvia, but I unwisely put a pretty label on the CD which now renders it unreadable in most CD players. But I let the folks at Apple know about this problem and though they regretfully informed me that they could not build a CD player that would compensate for the label problem, they were able to write a version of GarageBand that runs on the iPod and is ideally suited for recreating that original Stomock sound.
So here's a new version of the song, recorded 25 years after the first version and completed approximately 30 minutes after I first opened the GarageBand app. Let me repay Apple with this endorsement, sure to boost the sales of the iPad2 and make it a best seller against all odds:
Live at the Save the Trees Dome
January 18, 2011 01:04 PM PST
Said dome was conveniently located in Bryan's mom's backyard, where we could hear a neighbor hard at work with his chainsaw. And so can you, thanks to the magic of 4-track tape. Actually, you can hear the chain saw with only one track. Thanks to an Clapton live recording and another of the four tracks, you can hear our imaginary audience. The other two tracks were left free for the use of future generations.
Here's the L-STD version of Railroad, originally from our first album, Noxious Effluvia. Since Mr. Clapton loaned us his audience, we framed this one as a tribute of sorts. It is to the original Railroad as his slow acoustic version was to the original Layla.
If you choose to graph that relationship, the scale of awesome betwixt Railroad & Layla remains constant from version to version.LDUotS Part 2: Stomock Master Plan
November 17, 2010 02:17 PM PST
The only listenable track on SMP is the title track, in which we brag about how awesome we are and how you're not worthy to be our fan(s). The faux brag is a Stomock tradition going back to the days when the first Stomocks dragged themselves out of the primordial swamp to sing an impromptu song about inventing cable TV.
You know we love you, though it seems like we're miles above you.
But that's it. I can't listen to the rest of the album. However, around the same time Bryan (the Right Stomock, for I am always wrong) recorded Ditties from the Tortoiseshell Buttlamp, a solo rock opera more The Vanishing Herds than Stomockian. I've always loved that recording, so here's the fourth track, Welcome Back to the Tortoiseshell Buttlamp.The Long Dark Upset of the Stomock
November 16, 2010 02:35 PM PST
After A New World Odor we entered the long dark upset of the Stomock. Marked by excess and haste, our output during this period is less than gutacular. First came Bible-Belted Big Blackmail (1992) and its b-side, Half an Ass Beats Nun, then F*** Manifesto (1993), and The Stomock Master Plan (1993). Yes, we had fun making them, but with a few exceptions the songs make for some rough listening.
Exceptions on Bible-Belted include the semi-title song, though only as potential; its remake on Gut Work is our only candidate for a "hit". A dubious candidate, but we'll take what we can get. Other exceptions:
And, finally, "When Christy Breaks Down", which again is better for its potential than for its actuality. Nonetheless, here's the song, which appeared on the later Gut Work album (2000) both as a remake and in this, its original form. On Gut Work it appeared as "Track Name Withheld" since there is an actual Christy and we included this in part to annoy her. Which it did. You'll see why.
Marked as kid-unfriendly with reason...A New World Odor
October 17, 2010 05:18 PM PDT
A New World Odor's 30 tracks mark the end of the early Stomock period and herald much of what was to come in the next ten years. The Right Stomock's growing musical skills were growing while the Left Stomock was getting distracted by graduate school and other distractions. This is the first Stomock album to feature a large number of tracks that do not feature both band members. Here's one of those tracks: "Gilded Noise" by the Right Stomock.
Aside from the very Right-Stomockian lyrics and effectively spacey echo, it's notable for the glorious bloopy-bloop keyboard. Three sounds dominate the album: that keyboard, the Right Stomock's bass, and a drum machine in a music lab in Iowa City, Iowa.History of Stomock: Ferdukia 2003 Part 2
September 30, 2010 04:22 PM PDT
This song was on both versions of Ferdukia. It's the coming-of-age story of the boy who got left in the woods. There's a parallel song for the boy the king kept, which features the line, "I played my flute/and clicked my heels/and gaily escaped under cover of night."
The key to this song, of course, slant-rhymes with 'home'.History of Stomock: Ferdukia 2003
September 29, 2010 09:08 PM PDT
There was a long hiatus in Stomock recording while the two halves of the Stomock lived busy lives separated by broad physical distances. In 1996, for instance, we were separated by 6,436.8 miles, give or take a tenth of a mile.
In the meantime, the Internet developed to the point where we could mail files back and forth. That's how we recorded Gut Work in 2000 (more on that later) and the second version of Ferdukia.
We spent more time on Ferdukia, I believe, than on anything before or since. It wasn't the back-and-forth that caused us to spend more time; we just worked on it very hard. And I think it shows. We threw out the songs that didn't fit our sorta-storyline and wrote new ones. We made an effort to make the songs hold together so the thing sounds like an album rather than a collection of songs made by two guys with wildly variant musical skill sets operating at a distance.
I'm proud of it, as you can tell. So I'll start with one of the new songs, When Cheng Met Eng. The original "siamese twins" analogize nicely with Ferdukia's hero/villains... not that one should take us all that seriously on any front. I wrote this one & played guitar. Bryan added bass, backing vocals and the solo.History of Stomock: Ferdukia I
September 06, 2010 02:22 PM PDT
The next album was Endangered Feces, recorded in 1989. But looking at the track list (and listening to the quality of the songs digitized from the ancient tape) I don't feel like sharing anything from that one.
Ferdukia, which followed, was a rock opera about two boys conceived in badness, born joined at the stomock, and separated at birth. The album follows (loosely) their travels as they move dissatisfied through life, eventually finding each other and paying a hack doctor to sew them back together. As the doctor who splits them apart notes in Two Sons in One (this podcast's title), "This could lead to tragic consequences."
A teacher of mine once observed, regarding late-80's Saturday Night Live, "when you parody something that's already self-satirizing, people yawn." Ferdukia's essentially a parody of The Who's Tommy, which is somewhat self-satirizing (not intentionally, perhaps) but I think it took on a life of its own.
Many of our friends contributed. David M. did all of the drums. Steve Sinistarr sang on (and in the persona of) The Royal Nursery Maid. Mike S. played Dr. Greenpeace, who was not nearly as sinister as Mike himself. I played my first guitar on this (Life's Such a Joy, Sally Speaks Out) not counting a dubious solo on an earlier recording.
The true tragic consequences wouldn't materialize until 14 years later when we remade Ferdukia. But that can wait until the next podcast.History of Stomock: Hang Out Yer Stomock 2004
September 02, 2010 07:27 PM PDT
In 2004, we re-recorded some of the songs from our fuzzy early tapes. Here's Hang Out Yer Stomock.History of Stomock: Hang Out Yer Stomock
August 26, 2010 07:57 PM PDT
The first Stomock songs were recorded in the winter of 1986-87, during a break from my freshman year in college. The sequence is a little blurry for me now, but we recorded a short tape called "Distended" and another whose name I can't remember. We declared them to be "EPs" since they only had a few songs. All of those recordings are lost, but, alas, plenty more are not. This is one of those. It's from the third tape, which we declared to be an album since it had more songs. It was called "Noxious Effluvia" and the first track, "Hang Out Yer Stomock" was a song about... Stomock, naturally, which provided advice to our many fans. This has all of the essential Stomock elements: a gut metaphor extended as far as it will go, faux arrogance, faux philosophy, and a weak pun that's only noticeable if you have a copy of the written lyrics. The line "but now the rumbling has rhythm" alludes to the drummer who was there for part of the album... but not for this version of this song. Somehow, that makes it just right.The Stuff I Like
August 20, 2010 10:28 PM PDTBox
May 04, 2007 07:00 PM PDT
Bring Me An Egg, Sweet Jesus
April 23, 2007 07:10 PM PDT
I set out to write an Easter carol. I don't think I succeeded. As the Other Stomock once said, "listen in the spirit of prayerful devotion."
I marked it explicit out of deference for tender religious sensibilities. There's no icky poo poo language, though.Hard, Hard Drinkin'
March 27, 2007 06:13 PM PDT
I was issued a special dispensation.Ass First
March 13, 2007 02:14 PM PDT
Everything in this song is completely and literally true.Texas Two Step
March 12, 2007 07:32 PM PDT
C'mon! C'mon!Uke Troop
March 12, 2007 07:26 PM PDT
This is old, but my one subscriber complained, so I'm posting it.
I wrote this for my brother's friend Seth, who is posted in Iraq. He got a uke from ukesfortroops and has been learning to play it.My Baby Hates Christmas
December 01, 2006 03:56 PM PST
No postings since June? I guess I'd better do some stupid shit. Here's another contribution to my eternally planned, eternally doomed, all-Christmas-Carol Stomock album.Beer, Wine, Bourbon
June 16, 2006 05:40 AM PDT
June 04, 2006 08:33 PM PDT
Dr. Oldenblatter describes the effect The Unlistenables have on those fools who choose to listen.Ego Free
May 14, 2006 04:50 PM PDT
Everyone knows it's true.You Better Get Excited!
May 09, 2006 05:58 PM PDTBein' the Man Blues
May 07, 2006 05:05 PM PDT
Recorded in two takes (one guitar, one vocal) on an electrified cigar box guitar I just finished this evening. Lyrics here.Toe Jam of the Devil
May 06, 2006 03:39 PM PDT
It's good to know what you are.What is "Un-Music"?
April 24, 2006 07:15 PM PDTIt's Not Russia
April 23, 2006 06:49 PM PDT
Written & recorded in one shot this evening, without bothering to tune my guitar, divert from my usual guitar strumming mode & progression, or change from the default echo patch on my vocal processor. Enjoy.It's Not Russia
April 23, 2006 06:49 PM PDT
Written & recorded in one shot this evening, without bothering to tune my guitar, divert from my usual guitar strumming mode & progression, or change from the default echo patch on my vocal processor. Enjoy.
Real music, real bad, in real time.
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